Saturday, May 22, 2021

30,183: Sometime Later (With A little Help from my Friends)

(An entry that took 2 weeks to write, and still doesn't really convey everything I wanted it to.)

When circumstances overcame us, and I had to split from my man, I moved in with my best friend. This has lead to a year long project to reinstate her flat to a livable space after over a decade of neglect.

This blog has mostly been neglected during this project. As happens when pretty much every waking moment is taken up with work of one kind or another, everything else takes a back seat.

Now, as Project Lightbox enters its final stages, I have time to sit for a few minutes, and indulge in the therapy that is blogging.

Project Lightbox, has not been fun. In my head it was a simple task, de-clutter, clean everything, lick of paint. Job Done. Netflix 'n' Chill.

In reality, prise every last bit of rubbish from her vice like grip on unreality, make 18 trips to the recycling centre (and still have too much stuff, stuff that will need to be moved every weekend, so the work can continue,) scrub every last surface clean of a decade's worth of nicotine, replace appliences, paint ceilings, walls, woodwork, at least twice, and anything upto 4 times, hang shelves, pictures, TVs, then re-hang them at least once. 

Now almost 10 months have gone by, our freindship has been stretched beyond its breaking point, and I'm 3 grand lighter.

All this and my own problems too, it has been the poorest of years.

I lost my home, and the life I thought I had. If it had not been for a very understanding boss, I'd probably have lost my job too. As it is, the job may have been the one one thing that has kept me sane.

I know everyone has a had a tough time during Covid, I also know people have had other stuff to deal with, but I am my immediate concern.

There have been bright spots; 

I learned that I have more friends than I knew, 

I learned how powerfully I love, and how powerful love is. 

I have found the Truth that is Now. 

I believe that I can find a place to just Be.


I'm not happy, yet, these last months have taken a toll, and I'm certain there are going to be tough times ahead, but I'm soon going to be leaving Project Lightbox behind, and moving into my new home, and there is aa holiday in the offing, (Some hard earned R&R.) 

My man and I are trying to rebuild our life together, it's not easy, and it will take a long time for things to even resemble normal, but that story is being told elsewhere.

Soundtrack: With a Little Help From My Friends - The Beatles